February 9th is National Pizza Day and to celebrate, let’s get delivery and a rental. Little compares to the combination of pizza and a horror movie. Whether a Friday night-in or a Saturday sleepover, every weekend begs the addition of ‘za and a fright flick. A throwback to unsupervised youth on a Blockbuster night, staying up too late, and consuming junk food. The resulting nightmares would traumatize adolescents and influence horror media forever. Reminding the audience that nothing is sacred in scary movies, not even your slice.
Sometimes You Eat the Pizza, Sometimes the Pizza Eats You
Rivalries of regional styles rage on to this day. But whether you favor Chicago or New York, even bad pizza is still pizza. The worst pizza in the universe is Pizza The Hutt. Intergalactic mobster that drives the entire plot of Space Balls. Disgusting and delicious, he directly inspired the animated villain Pizza Face from the 2012 TMNT series. Hypnotizing the hungry into his parlor to eat as calzones. Simultaneously unveiling the vulnerability of the voracious. The original Ninja Turtle animated series gave us Pizza Monsters from Dimension X. Almost gremlin-like, they hatch from meatball shaped eggs when heated up. Just add water to grow into yellow Xenomorphs that rearrange positions in the food chain. The cannibal slasher, Offerings, has an escaped psycho courting a teen with body parts. Beginning with a stack of “sausage” pizzas on her doorstep, nobody notices the missing family dog. Freddy Krueger has an appetite for soul food inNightmare on Elm Street 4. On a dream date in a diner, the meatball toppings resemble victims screaming for mercy. Every time Freddy eats a soul, he gains another slimy mole. The moment in the franchise when fans notice how much Krueger’s skin resembles pizza. You are what you eat inHouse IV, where Kane Hodder makes an uncredited cameo as The Human Pizza. Singing delivery has everyone humming until they open the box to a grinning pie. Ruining dinner by spewing gory marinara and attacking with cheese tentacles. But if the food doesn’t kill ya, the service will.
Little Pizza Shop of Horrors
Urban legends of haunted red sauce joints exist all over. Possibly as continuations of the old trope of fronts for the mob. In theKiller Pizza horror novel series by Greg Taylor, the titular business is a front for a monster hunting organization. It’s like the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense was slinging slices on the side. Not necessarily needing a cover to bring the paranormal into your personal pan, some restaurants simply make unfortunate decisions regarding location. The pizza horror comedySlice is centered around Perfect Pizza Place, an eatery built on top of a portal to Hell. Inciting more than bad Yelp reviews, a coven of witches wreak havoc to gain access. But a fate much worse than bad service is having an in-house monstrosity dining on you. Namely, the horrific animatronics of pizza chain restaurants. Any nostalgic attendee of family fun in its heyday were captivated and terrorized by the robots. Popular horror game seriesFive Nights at Freddy’s brought these childhood fears to life with machines moving freely at night. Possessed by vengeful spirits that punish all trespassers. In the same vein, 2018’s Huluween film festival featured the pizza horror short,The Hug. Pandory the Panda is a lone robot in his restaurant and needs to feed between performances. Also being a demon, Pandory prefers children. This short would give way to the 2021 Nicholas Cage pizza horror film,Willy’s Wonderland. A serial killer cult inhabits the animatronic characters and demands human sacrifice. This redefines the notion of businesses struggling to keep customers. However, ordering to-go isn’t always the safer bet, especially if you’re making the deliveries.
Pizza is Gonna Send Out For You
Slinging pizza is a respectable hustle but with considerable risk involved. These liminal laborers walk between worlds and enter unknown situations repeatedly in a single night. Adventurous drivers might take a chance outside of their delivery zone like inSatanic Panic. A pizza horror film featuring a delivery girl served up as a sacrifice to Baphomet at the hands of Satanist glitterati. InSlumber Party Massacre, the delivery boy is dead on arrival at a slashing in progress. Awaiting help, the teens help themselves to the cold pizza lying next to his corpse. The perfect comfort food to stress eat when stalked by a homicidal maniac. In the Indian horror movie,Pizza, the supernatural orders out for the pizza guy, Michael. Trapped in a haunted bungalow looping its trauma, this pie is extra bloody with ketchup and murder. The pizza profession requires grit as behind each door lies a potential occupational hazard. A single order could be a family of zombies craving deep dish brains, like inDance of The Dead. Jimmy makes his last delivery of the night and realizes he’s on the menu.
Pizza Horror as a Subtrope
What makes pizza horror truly terrifying is that it’s too real. Whether you’re an employee or a customer, pizza is a bullseye for the weird. We lower our defenses when taking in sustenance. Fueling that long run from the chainsaw man wanting to eat you. Consider how you invite chaos into your life every time you grab a slice.
Hailed as “The Godfather of Science Fiction”, Phillip Kindred Dick was born prematurely on December 16th, 1928. His twin sister, Jane Charlotte, would die 6 weeks later and leave a profound impact on Philip’s life. Suffering from hallucinations and a slippery grip on reality, he would also be forever haunted by the absence of a sibling. The concept of a “phantom twin” and estranged siblings would surface throughout his critically acclaimed writing career. Most notable being Dr. Bloodmoney or: How We Learned to Get Along After the Bomb. In a letter written to Sandra Miesel in 1970, Dick admitted that he liked this novel more than anything else he had ever written.
The Bomb Will Bring Us Together
Composed on the heels of the Cuban missile crisis, Philip K. Dick’s Dr. Bloodmoney imagines the early 80’s in California’s Bay Area as an age of fear. A paranoia of atomic weapons and fallout after a failed nuclear defense experiment. The Bluthgeld Disaster of ’72, so named after the overseeing physicist that had made a miscalculation. Resulting in mass destruction and radiation poisoning. In his signature style of a disjointed narrative, Dick’s novel begins by introducing multiple characters on the last known day of civilized society.
Beginning with Mr. Jack Tree, the assumed name of Dr. Bruno Bluthgeld. The infamous radiation expert that had made the grave error. Having gone into hiding after the catastrophe, he now suffered from severe paranoia. Guilt and isolation eroding his mind to fabricate delusions of grandeur. Believing he can speak with God and that others read his thoughts. At the suggestion of his friend, Bonnie Keller, he seeks psychiatric help from Dr. Stockstill. Unfortunately, Stockstill disgusted with the incognito scientist, knowing who he really is. Trying to mask his hatred of the patient, he distracts himself by thinking about the NASA Mars launch.
The lone friend of Bruno Bluthgeld is a bored housewife, Bonny Keller. Depressed and repressed, she fears stagnation. Burning through hobbies and meddling in the lives of others to stay busy. With little regard for her husband, Bonny is quite fond of Bruno. Having served as a mentor, she hopes her psychiatrist can help with his mental state. Anxiously she waits by the phone to hear about Bluthgeld and Stockstill’s session. Fantasizing about having affairs or China declaring war. To ease the restlessness, Bonny watches the Mars launch live on television.
Hoppy Harrington suffers from phocomelia, born without arms and legs. He gets around on a government issued cart with extensors. But Hoppy has a powerful mind and is full of ambition. Determined to make a living doing manual labor, he’s hired as a repairman at Modern TV. Quickly he wins over his coworkers with his talents. Concentrating on a broken electronic, he almost seems to heal the device rather than repair it.
Emergency Day
Since the radiation fallout from 1972, mankind has been seeking to thrive beyond Earth. Russia had failed to colonize the moon and the cosmonauts either starved or suffocated. NASA had decided to send a couple into orbit in hopes of colonizing Mars. Walter Dangerfield was selected, an earnest-hearted Regular Joe with his wry and mordant wit. He and his wife Lydia were being sent to pioneer a “Nova Terra”, armed with good breeding genes and a wealth of knowledge. The Dangerfields are a beacon of hope for Earthlings suffering the long-term effects of the Bluthgeld Disaster. Making the opportunity of a fresh beginning more available to everyone tuning in. Until all the screens suddenly go blank, and the signal is lost.
“Walter, we are under attack down here.”
Static begins erasing voices from mission control to the Regular Joe. Helplessly looking down at the blue marble to see matches being lit. Little puffs and flares burning up life.
The only warnings that came were a split-second Red Alert on FM radio. Moments passed before skies darkened and filled with soot. The very ground would jump again and again. Bombs rained upon cities and countryside alike from unknown enemies. People ran wild in the streets, seeking shelter in community cellars. Buildings crumbled and all of Berkley seemed to be sinking on one side, tilting sidewalks, and toppling structures. The survivors would one day reminisce about the event lacking hostility and purpose. As if it was another mistake made in Washington. Militant amateurs and the greedy in their highly scientific circles. Just like in ‘72, when the deranged are in charge it makes the concept of “enemy” unbelievable. Other survivors will recall the relief and excitement felt when the bombs started dropping. If not seen as a second chance to do things over, it was regarded as the will of God. Cleansing away all the undesirable traits of mankind.
The city had become a sieve, leaking endless streams of people wanting to get out. Bruno Bluthgeld wandered the demolished streets of Berkeley, in the midst of chaos. Unable to understand what was happening, just like everyone else. Cars and crowds pushed past him as he slowly recognized this as the end. Surmising that there is no war to speak of other than inside of himself, the responsible party. Bluthgeld believes he brought about this ending with his mind alone. Possessing psychic abilities that cause destruction, just as he had done in ‘72 with the experiment failure. Desperate to make amends, Bluthgeld attempts to will civilization to heal itself from this tragedy.
Crawl Out From the Fallout
When the bombs cease and the smoke clears, society slowly reestablishes itself in smaller colonies. Connecting with a barter system of skills and resources. Slowly they rebuild with primitive methods and little to no machinery. Outside of Berkeley, in West Marin, there are communal gatherings to listen to a lone working radio and the last broadcasts of mankind. Walter Dangerfield, trapped in the Dutchman IV space capsule for the last 7 years, has become an international disc jockey. Endlessly orbiting Earth, entertaining anyone that can pick up his signal. Transmissions of book readings and songs from his music archive. Equipped with the resources to sustain a decade of life for 2, he currently feels unwell. Noticing a sudden appearance of chest pains. Cheerfully, he asks his audience for advice and wonders how much time he has left, as do his listeners. Unable to imagine going on without Dangerfield.
Hoppy Harrington defied all odds and survived Emergency Day. Settling in West Marin, he serves as the capable handy-man and entertains with imitations and juggling. Always seeming to know more than he lets on, Hoppy makes people uncomfortable. Yet the residents were grateful to have him part of the community for his talents. Mechanically inclined and strengthened mental abilities, Hoppy can now move objects with his thoughts. Using these assets to protect residents from thieving outsiders. Psychically lashing out at anyone who underestimates him. Hoppy’s funny impressions can become cruel mocking if his telekinetic gifts aren’t respected.
Bonny Keller defeated stagnation after Emergency Day with her beauty alone. Rising to an unofficial position of power by influence and her many secret affairs. This dangerous hold over her peers has led to the execution of anyone who displeases her. In a spontaneous comfort tryst with a traveling salesman after the bombs fell, Bonny conceived a child. Now 7 years old is the dark eyed little girl named Edie. Unbeknownst to all is her parasitic twin that she calls “Bill”. When she speaks to her brother, it is written off as merely an imaginary friend. But Bill has special abilities too, being stuck between worlds. He speaks with the dead and wants to try and swap consciousness with another creature.
Mr. Jack Tree, formerly known as Bruno Bluthgeld, lives on the outskirts of West Marin as a sheep herder. Twisted with age and more mentally unstable than ever before, protected by Bonny Keller. Once suspecting his cover has been blown, he decides to eradicate all of humanity for good using only his mind. Envisioning black skies and bright flashes in the distance with the smell of smoke on the wind. Hoppy Harrington decides to intervene with his own mental abilities and psychically disposes of the physicist. Indebting West Marin and the rest of the Bay Area to him for sparing all another Emergency Day. But the resident’s gratitude isn’t enough for the telekinetic handy. He wants to be admired like Walt Dangerfield and uses his mind to slowly replace him. Only the little Bill Keller inside of his sister’s abdomen is willing to take on Hoppy Harrington and stop him from hurting people anymore.
Postmodern Pandemic
Philip K. Dick’s Dr. Bloodmoney is considered to be one of the defining science fiction novels of the ‘60s. Originally under the working titles “In Earth’s Diurnal Course” and “A Terran Odyssey”, editor Donald Wollheim suggested something different. A reference to the 1964 film, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Published by Ace Books in 1965, it was nominated for a Nebula Award for ‘best novel’ but lost to Frank Herbert’s Dune.
Reading Philip K. Dick’s Dr. Bloodmoney in the beginning of 2022, is remarkably chilling. Offering ideas of how people come together or move further apart after a major disaster. He blurs the lines of time by referencing actual government officials, like Richard Nixon. Other times he gives only vague descriptions that allude to other political figures. While the book is a product of its times, it’s uncomfortable in moments that highlight the unnecessary divisions of humanity. Many of which are still rampant, 57 years later. Dick noted the desperation of neglected veterans, mental capacities of leaders, and long-term effects of chemical testing. Even giving an uncanny projection of the Challenger tragedy with a simple line of alternate history.
The arrangement of characters and their struggle for a basic understanding echoes current uncertainties of the future. From the horrible realization that everything will change. To the feelings of hopelessness in the face of domestic error and miscalculated response. All putting the reader in an uneasy state of familiarity, as we enter a 3rd year after Covid’s debut. Once considered tropes of science fiction and horror are now staples of our modern-day reality. It wouldn’t feel too far-fetched if the next challenges our society faces align with other themes in Philip K. Dick’s existential treatises. Such asgovernment conspiracies, evil corporations, or the entity formerly known as God appearing as A.I. or a cosmic structure. The futures he contributed to the sci-fi genre beg us to never stop questioning reality and what does it mean to be human? The answers to which are forever evolving in what feels like the beginning of the end.
The 1930s were peak in Hollywood’s Golden Age of horror. Universal led the way with its legendary monster movies and Paramount added sophisticated suspense to the genre. In 1935, MGM decided to release the horror-thriller Mad Love, directed by Karl Freund and starring Peter Lorre in his American debut. Lorre, a highly publicized talent, harnessed a dark glamor with his emotive acting. Bringing an amalgamation of repulsiveness and vulnerability into each role that the audience sympathizes with against their will.
His Love Was a Pitiful…Hopeless Madness
The famous surgeon, Dr. Gogol sits in private box at the “Théatre des Horreurs”, just as he has for the last 47 nights. Blissfully gazing upon Madame Yvonne Orlac as she is tortured on stage as the Duchess. Having sent flowers and notes to her dressing room for each performance, he finally approaches her dressing room on closing night. Yet he is crushed to learn she is married to concert pianist, Stephen Orlac. As he wraps up a tour, Yvonne retires from the stage to join him at last. The dejected Gogol comforts himself by purchasing the theater’s promotional wax figure of Yvonne from the lobby. Having it delivered to his private chambers to do with as he pleases, without fear of rejection.
While enroute to meet with his wife, Stephen is mangled in a terrible train wreck. Crushing his hands which must be amputated to save his life. Yvonne is desperate to preserve her husband’s livelihood and begs Dr. Gogol for a miracle. His surgical genius is struck with divine inspiration and Stephen is given a hand transplant. The donor of which being a recently executed knife thrower from the circus. The surgery is a success, but Stephen is repulsed by his transplants that require long and expensive treatments. They don’t take to playing the piano as they once did but now seem to have a talent for knives. The Orlacs are forced to sell all their valuables as the bills pile up, straining their marriage much to Gogol’s delight. With murder hanging in the balance, Stephen descends into madness. Luring Yvonne to Dr. Gogol for answers, like a fly to a carnivorous plant.
I have conquered science! Why can’t I conquer love?
Mad Love was the first of many remakes of Orlacs Hände (The Hands of Orlac). An Austrian silent horror film directed by expressionist veteran, Robert Wiene. This version focused more on the unraveling of Stephen as the protagonist. Rejecting his evil willed appendages and featuring a con man as the villain. Wiene’s film itself was inspired by a 1920 French fantasy/horror novel, Les Mains d’Orlac. Written by Maurice Renard, it is cited as one of the earliest appearances of body horror.
Mad Love is less faithful to Renard’s novel than Frankenstein or Dracula are to their origins in gothic literature. Which comes as no surprise that the script writer, John L. Balderston, had previously written on those film adaptations along with The Mummy and The Bride of Frankenstein. Balderston expanded on an otherwise minor character by combining the novel’s benign doctor with ‘Spectropheles’. A grotesque figure clad in white that haunts Stephen Orlac’s wife throughout Renard’s version. Regarded as the ghost of the train accident in the book and on screen as Dr. Gogol, a ghoul in white surgical scrubs. Both personal devils of Mrs. Orlac that must be faced before all is lost.
Balderstone had composed the film’s dialog with Lorre in mind, at points calling for the actor to deploy his “M look”. Referring to Lorre’s breakthrough role as Hans Beckert, a child murderer in Fritz Lang’s 1931 thriller, M. A Weimar Republic-era movie that would type cast the actor for the rest of his career. The tortured Stephen Orlac is played by, Colin Clive. No stranger to horror as the memorable Dr. Henry in Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein. Keye Luke appears as Gogol’s assisting surgeon, Dr. Wong. Best known for his role as Lee Chan in the Charlie Chan films and appearing with Peter Lorre in 1938 film Mr. Moto’s Gamble. Edward Brophy plays Rollo the knife thrower, on his way to the guillotine. Brophy had also played a knife throwing circus performer named Rollo in the 1935 movie Freaks. Possibly setting the cult film within the same cinematic universe as Mad Love.
Other film adaptations include The Hands of Orlac (1960) directed by Edmond Grevilleand Hands of a Stranger (1962) directed by Newt Arnold. The premise of a killer transplant inspired a number of other films such as The Crawling Hand (1963), The Hand (1981), and Les Mains de Roxana (2012). On television it had influenced a segment of Rod Serling’s Night Gallery and the Doctor Who serial, “The Hand of Fear”. A variant of the theme was used in an unproduced project of Alfred Hitchcock, The Blind Man and parodied in The Simpsons’ “Treehouse of Horror IX”. It has even been suggested that Mad Love directly inspired the visual style of Orson Welles’ Citizen Kane.
“Each Man Kills The Thing He Loves”
Though upon initial release Mad Love was a commercial failure, it has grown a devout following through the years. Amassing an audience that appreciates Freund and Balderston weaving as many horror tropes within their movie as they could. From set designs to borrowed lines, the film pays tribute to its expressionistic roots and other heavy hitters in the genre.
The film title Mad Love is more obviously in reference to the sadistic obsession Gogol has for the actress and the skin-crawling scenes of his entitled wooing. Perhaps it also regards Yvonne’s devotion to her husband, Stephen. Resorting to desperate measures to care for the wreck-mauled pianist. Including reaching out to a repugnant stage-door johnny and admittedly trading on his unrequited feelings. Unknowingly evoking a madness in their lives that can only come from “love”.
The Merrye Syndrome is a rare disease known only to afflict descendants of Ebenezer Merrye. An unfortunate condition developed from generations of inbreeding. Causing a mental regression and deformity, beginning in late childhood. It is believed the victim of Merrye Syndrome will de-evolve to a pre-human state of savagery and cannibalism. This ailment cast a shadow of shame over the wealthy family for many years, prompting them to live in seclusion as the bloodline dried up. The patriarch, Titus W. Merrye, dedicated his life to hiding the family curse from the world. This included his brother Nedrick, their two sisters, and his 3 children. Devoted servant, Bruno, gave a solemn oath upon Titus’ death to protect the skeletons in the Merrye closet.
Elizabeth, Ralph, and Virginia Merrye with Bruno
Emily Howe and her brother Peter are distant cousins and the only other known living heirs. Emily, hungry for the family fortune, intends to become the legal guardian of the Merrye children. They arrive at the unkempt mansion on short notice with her lawyer, Mr. Schlockier, and his secretary, Anne. Catching Bruno off guard, just as he was cleaning up another unfortunate mess created by the “kids”.
Children, We’ve Got To Keep Some Secrets Today
The Merrye siblings are actually young adults with the mental faculties of unpredictable children. Ralph is the nonverbal oldest child. With gangly limbs and brute strength, he crawls through the dumbwaiter shafts of the dilapidated house. Elizabeth is more put together, often called upon by Bruno to look after her brother and sister. The youngest, Virginia, is especially peculiar with an obsession with bugs and spiders. Often playing dangerous games with butcher knives and keeping pet tarantulas in a roll top desk.
When the unwelcome guests insist on spending the night, Bruno quickly hatches a plan in hopes of deterring them from seizing control of the estate. Plotting to host an unsavory dinner party for the outsiders and spare the Merrye children from becoming the object of public scrutiny. Hanging over Emily and her lawyer, he divulges the intimate details of the children’s austere lifestyle. Serving up a roasted cat Ralph had caught, toadstools and weeds foraged by Virginia, and pickled insects. Anne and Peter are unfortunate victims of circumstance and seem to pick up on Bruno’s subtle cues. Peter teases his sister, hoping she’d change her mind about staying the night. Sparking a self-referential conversation with Anne about horror movies. The pair coquettishly gush about their favorite monsters, but when she mentions the Wolfman, all the color drains from Bruno’s face. Dripping with sweat, he gravely warns them, “There’s going to be a full moon tonight.” The pair sheepishly glance around the room, making eye contact with each Merrye child. Devious grins cross their faces, like mocking portents to the dangers that lie ahead.
Bruno & Ralph
Just Because Something Isn’t Good Doesn’t Mean It’s Bad
Spider Baby was the feature film debut of the celebrated cult-film director, Jack Hill. Best known for exploitation films likeThe Big Dollhouse,Switchblade Sisters, andFoxy Brown. Hill shot the movie in the summer of 1964 with the original title “Cannibal Orgy or The Maddest Story Ever Told” as a joke. Due to bad press, the producers cut the film up in a panic. Halting the release for 3 years, as they were involved in real estate development and went bankrupt. Independent producer, David L. Hewitt, saved the movie from being lost forever by acquiring a theatrical print for distribution in 1967. Changing the title to “Spider Baby”, though it was alternatively billed as “The Liver Eaters” in drive-in double features. Jack Hill admits to writing a script for a sequel called “Vampire Orgy,” which followed surviving characters, Peter and Anne, on their honeymoon.
Sig Haig plays the mute Ralph Merrye. Though he had no dialog throughout the film, his wild facial expressions made the monstrous man-child a loveable character. Haig appeared in many of Jack Hill’s films, including his debut in Hill’s UCLA student film,The Host. Haig is most beloved by younger fans as Captain Spaulding in Rob Zombie’sHouse of 1000 Corpses andThe Devil’s Rejects. Beverly Washburn plays the oldest Merrye daughter, Elizabeth. Washburn had also appeared alongside Sid Haig in Jack Hill’sPit Stop. But the biggest star of the Spider Baby movie is Lon Chaney Jr. as the family chauffeur, Bruno. Veteran of several Universal horror films, Chaney appeared as the Mummy in three pictures, the monster inGhost of Frankenstein, and the titularSon of Dracula. However, he is best remembered as the cursed Larry Talbot who would transform intoThe Wolf Man.
Many horror fans are quick to notice the similarities between Spider Baby and House of 1000 Corpses, beyond the casting of Sid Haig. The Firefly clan are presented as a more perverse version of the Merrye family. Residing in a decaying house filled with trap doors, taxidermy specimens, and crucified ragdolls. 1974’sThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre was also influenced by Spider Baby. Mirroring cannibalistic themes and relatives mentally unravelling while trying to cover up sins of family. Even the oldest of the Sawyers met a fate similar to Titus W. Merrye. Finally, The People Under The Stairs also takes direct inspiration from Jack Hill’s film. A rich and incestuous family reside in a big creepy house with a basement of mutants. Even the character Roach eats up every scene, in spite of being completely nonverbal just like Ralph Merrye.
Virginia & Elizabeth
Well Beyond The Boundaries of Prudence and Good Taste
Murder and mayhem running rampant through the night, the Merrye children have stirred a chaos that is no longer capable of being kept secret. Bruno has prepared for this moment for some time but never expected it to arrive so soon. He sets out to retrieve a “toy” that will put an end to the madness and protect the Merrye legacy. Peter and Anne manage to escape as a menacing version of “Itsy-bitsy Spider” plays in the background. The pair marry, inherit the family fortune, and have a daughter of their own, named Jessica. She looks nothing like either of her parents with big dark eyes, wiry limbs, and a long face that lights up when she spies a spider outside. Not too unlike her presumably distant cousins; Elizabeth, Ralph, and Virginia. Perhaps the rare Merrye Syndrome, though believed to be extinguished from humanity, lives on in the next generation.
The fictional character of Kurt Vonnegut, Kilgore Trout, was an unsuccessful sci-fi author. The origins of his fabricated misfortune started as a joke from one of Vonnegut’s editors, Knox Burger. Once suggesting that it was much more entertaining to hear the idea or pitch of a science fiction novel rather than actually read the finished book. This comment led to Vonnegut creating the professionally unlucky alter ego.
Naturally, Kilgore Trout’s name was the first to come to mind when discovering Kanye West – Reanimator. I had been searching the Chicago Public Library catalogs for local horror when this title was suggested. The novella was authored in part by H.P. Lovecraft and Joshua Chaplinsky. Admittedly having also started as a joke, Kanye West – Reanimator followed Trout’s formula of sounding better as a concept than as a completed book. Its creation was fittingly an experiment by Chaplinsky. Beginning this reimagining by first swapping out names in Lovecraft’s original texts. Details were updated to reflect the rapper’s personal biography and the classic horror tale clicked into place with hip hop history. Thus, creating a dark comedy that begged to be paired with Kanye West’s tenth studio album, Donda. Released a little over a week after Lovecraft’s 131st birthday.
Written from the point of view of West’s college friend and trusted confidant. The narrator recounts his days under the Yeezy spell as an accessory to morbid crimes against the music industry. Kanye West is fondly remembered by his associate as an eccentric genius turned mad scientist. Obsessed with reanimating a dead genre beyond “cookie-cutter pop and gangsta rap.” Spotify’s most played tracks of Donda synched eerily well with the book’s pacing. The song, “Off The Grid”, echoes in the corners of the abandoned farmhouse where the pair isolate themselves to perform experiments. Flesh meets machine as Kanye literally plugs tracks into corpses. Souls trapped within give birth to unique remixes as the abominations rise from their slab. West waxes hyperbolic of art beyond death with the auto-tuned screams of “God Breathed”. But never satisfied, he seeks out new subjects for experiments to match the success of The College Dropout. Including a run in with head of Roc-A-Fella records, Damon Dash, stealing the ashes of Biggie Smalls and the ever-present beef between West and Jay-Z. The novella’s crescendo is a scene straight from the controversial video for “Monster”. Yet it is the track “24” that delivers poetic justice and the cautionary tale. A discordant church organ unravels the song as Ye faces the consequences of playing god. Wavering confidence as he chants, we gonna be okay.
Kanye West – Reanimator was possibly the only release of Yolo House Publishers, in September of 2015. Consisting of the trio Cameron Pierce, Matthew Revert, and personal favorite, Molly Tanzer. Whether or not you consider yourself a fan of West’s music, his many struggles always manage to find their way into the public consciousness of everyday life. His controversies since the release of Kanye West – Reanimator have certainly eclipsed those that came before. Between West’s questionable political ties, divorce from tabloid queen, continued “shameless pillaging of imagery from Alejandro Jodorowsky”, and setting himself on fire among homophobes and rapists…one can only hope Joshua Chaplinsky will be inspired to resurrect the parallel continuity of the Reanimator sequels.
Tim Murr walks the path of most resistance when it comes to DIY publishing. Having debuted his first collection Destroying Lives for Fun and Profit over 25 years ago before founding St Rooster Books. Managed with his wife Stephanie, St Rooster Books regularly releases anthologies and horror novellas. Uplifting writers with a unique flair for horror with e-readers or a print-on-demand service. Remaining loyal to the palpable connection with art, Murr also released the physical magazine, Stranger With Friction. A quarterly publication offering outsider literature for those inspired by horror, comics, and punk rock.
The first few issues offer a variety of regular columns and personal essays. Diving into horror franchises like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and various albums of Black Flag and Alice Cooper. Chris Cavoretto of Werewolves in Siberia, contributes a dissection of punksploitation soundtracks like Repo Man and Return of The Living Dead. SWF also examines socio-political issues within the horror genre in an interview with up and coming indie director, Izzy Lee.
Other steady purveyors of twisted fiction like “Neighborhood Watch” and “Secret Satan” is author Carter Johnson. Keeping the nightmares alive from the infected trenches of an apocalyptic suburbia to the cubicle walls of a literal office Hell. Jeremy Lowe also haunts the pages of SWF with “Macho Insecurity” and “Bury Them Deep”. A queer punk videodrome of self discovery and a carny possessed hearse taking on a hillbilly sex church. Others are newcomers, like Lamont Turner and his tale of mad science haunting a house with time warping mutants in “Cramps”. Reed Alexander writes “The Nightlife”, a thriller about a late night rave that turns into a cannibal buffet. There’s political prose from Erik Stewart and morbidly romantic poetry by Marcelline Block.
Lastly, a Publisher Spotlight is featured on Sam Richard of the kindred indie press, Weird Punk Books. Richard talks about origins and upcoming releases of the erotic occult variety. (Checkout their tribute anthologies to GG Allin and David Cronenburg.)
For those that dabble primarily in weird cult genres, Stranger With Friction is worth picking up from St Rooster Books. If not inspired to submit to the magazine itself,it is a must read to further introduce yourself to the many voices of indie horror culture.
You can pick up Stranger With Friction #1 & #2 HERE and peruse other releases by St Rooster Books. Check out the latest The God Provides by Thomas R Clark!
My first introductions to punk rock were exactly as Tim Murr described them, “pink mohawked parodies on TV shows like Mama’s Family.” Or perhaps it was a young Johnny Depp “Speaker Diving” to Agent Orange on 21 Jump Street. The fascination with these cartoon portrayals led me to seek out other punks on film. Low budget movies with actual bands performing punk rock soundtracks and even real punkers as extras.
Anyone with a special devotion to punksploitation has a story of the influence it had on their life. Return of The Living Dead took place on the day I was born, and I’ve sampled many lines from Repo Man for mixtapes, over the years. Tim Marr shares the same love for the subgenre that I do. Curating a small collection of original short stories inspired by classics of the 80s like Suburbia and Dudes. St Rooster Books released the (hopefully the 1st of many) anthology, Kids of the Black Hole.
Sarah Miner’s “Black Thunder” is a fast-paced tale of mad science. Flesh crazed Gipper clones terrorize a dive on the outskirts of town. A band of punks on tour deliver a splatter fest with excellent one-liner cheese. Chris Hallock continues the theme of surreal tour life with “Urchins”. A punkrock girl finds her true voice after a gig. Facing off with Nazi skin heads as newly crowned queen of the Philly CHUDs. Paul Lubsczewski’s “I Love Livin’ in the City” is a hard-boiled fleece. A punk gang prowls through strange city streets, ready to pounce on poseurs for a good time. But amid the flames and dead bodies, who is hunting who? “Skate or Die” by Jeremy Lowe is a demonic cumming-of-age nightmare. Weird kids gotta stick together and take back their power when friendships are threatened. Even if it means unleashing hell on your hometown with Satanic skateboard Droogs! Tim Murr concludes the anthology with “What We Do Is Secret”. A spooky crush drags a musician into the middle of necromancer feud. Caught between a swamp witch and a death cult, this story proves that sometimes punk rock can save your life.
I certainly hope to see more volumes of punksploitation anthologies from St Rooster Books in the future. The title, Kids of The Black Hole was taken from a song of the same name off the Adolescents’ blue album, as a tribute to the late bassist, Frank Soto. It’s sloppy good fun for lovers of weird fiction and the horror show of subculture.
Returning to social media with a “divorced” status is catnip to incels from high school and rando friend-of-friend fuck boys. This is how my quarantine started in spring of 2020. Messages from strangers wanting to get to know me better while simultaneously talking down to me about music. The only good thing to come of these inevitably blocked conversations was my introduction to Nick Shoulders. A don’t-call-me-country, country musician from the Ozarks. With yodeling vocals that rival Roy Orbison or Slim Whitman, and the guitar skills to flawlessly pull off a surf cover of The Stooges “No Fun”. The music of Nick Shoulders amplifies the nostalgia I feel every spring for the rural Midwest. Dreaming of running barefoot on gravel roads and chasing lighting bugs.
I’m incredibly critical about modern country, having grown up in the cornfields on the Iowa/Missouri border. One easily tires of trendy mullets and embroidered western shirts on art students idolizing white trash aesthetics. Nick Shoulders is anything but new wave redneck, challenging perceptions of what punk and country are and how they overlap. Acknowledging ancestral sins and noting how we’ve veered far from the righteous path with greed and “progress”.
Putting the ‘try’ in ‘country’.
Home on the Rage is Nick Shoulders’ 3rd album, sans a full band backing him. Bare bones tracks of his eerie howls and coyote-like yips over guitar. Beginning with the song and first single, “Turn on the Dark”. It tips off the listener that this release is much heavier than Lonely Like Me or Okay, Crawdad. It’s an exploration of a hateful heritage blossoming into apathy and hypocrisy with lyrics like,
“How can the land of the free be the home of the slave?”
Home on the Rage is a smothered rage of isolation as Nick makes himself right at home in these shadows. Picked apart and examined closely in quarantine. Haunting whistles to the boogers and haints of the wilderness, sharing their pain and loneliness as history repeats itself.
“Every war is a rich man’s war and every fight is a failure.”
Home on the Rage offers one dirge right after another. Each mourning the pre-Covid19 world left behind and the melancholy hope that we can do better. The album closes with “Twice as Bright”, a relatable ballad of helplessness. Leaving you at the crossroads to face the deep chasm of mistrust and the strength to move forward.
Home on the Rage is available on all streaming platforms as of April 20th.
“We are drive-in mutants; we are not like other people.”
In a small hotel conference room that stank of weed, a sea of right hands were raised in pledge. Some hands were parted as Vulcan greetings and others posed as devil horns. The audience was being sworn in by taking the drive-in oath.
“As long as one drive-in remains on the planet Earth We will party like jungle animals We will boogie ’til we puke The drive-in will never die”
Long before I was ever thought of or before the term was invented, my father was a drive-in mutant. A rock n’ roll hippie of the 70’s, that regularly took in the creature features at the local drive-in each weekend. I didn’t know until later in life how much he loved the spook shows and Midnight movies. The very same cult films that I too would come to love in my life. In the mid-90s there was no greater bond between us than to make popcorn on a Saturday night and watch TNT’s Monster Vision. This was my introduction to Joe Bob Briggs, the premier drive-in film critic. Joe Bob would host the double feature and offer obscure trivia and cheap jokes. Usually, my dad would fall asleep before the second movie and I’d be left with my own prepubescent fears in the darkness of our living room. These Saturday nights are some of the happiest memories I have with my old man.
Monster Vision was officially cancelled in 2000 but the man behind Joe Bob, John Bloom, maintained an official website dedicated to his alter ego. His own work had inspired me over the years to continue to pursue writing and film making. Naturally, I did my best to follow his career with mailing lists to stay on top of his columns and events.
A few years back, John Bloom met horror enthusiast, Diana Prince when she attended one of his signings. The two became friends right about the time he was approached for the umpteenth time about a new show. Admittedly going along with it for a free lunch, he was introduced to AMC’s new horror streaming platform, Shudder. The idea was to resurrect the character and continue to host horror films. Unsure at first, Diana Prince encouraged Bloom to accept the offer. Convincing him that the fans were numerous and hungry for a return. When the funding fell through at the last minute, Prince helped secure resources to make the show happen. So as Bloom prepared to get back in the saddle, he asked Prince to be the new mail girl, “Darcy”.
Joe Bob Briggs officially returned in the summer of 2018 with a 24-hour marathon called The Last Drive-In. The response was larger than anticipated, with thousands overloading and ultimately crashing Shudder and AMC servers. Fans were tuning-in to the loading screen of doom, unable to watch the marathon. The few that could log-on got to witness Joe Bob give an emotional sign off at the end. Expressing gratitude to all the fans over the years, as he hung up his spurs. But breaking the internet was good news for Joe Bob, as it prompted Shudder to bring him back with 2 holiday specials and a regular series.
March of 2019 a reoccurring Friday night double feature with Darcy the mail girl. While the first season was airing, Joe Bob hit the road with his one man show, How Rednecks Saved Hollywood. A 2-hour cinematic lecture about the true identity of rednecks and their impact on film, from low budget to mainstream. I caught Rednecks in Milwaukee that spring, learning history of the films my dad loved of hillbillies and moonshiners.
The line to meet Joe Bob was wrapped around the block on that frigid Wisconsin evening. He arrived in a hearse from a local funeral home to a roar of applause from the crowd. When the line finally rotated through, I stood star struck before the man I grew up watching on Saturday nights. He shook my hand and signed my book: To Krystle, a drive-in kind of gal.
2020 ended up being the revival year of the drive-in with Corona virus closing theaters across the country. Reaffirming what Joe Bob has been insisting all along, the drive-in will never die. The Shudder network was generous to everyone on lock down with a second season of The Last Drive-In. Citing more viewers than ever before, fanfare flooded social media with official and unofficial merchandise. 4 more holiday specials were released and promise of a 3rd season.
February of this year, an invitation was broadcast to fans on all platforms. The first ever Joe Bob Drive-In Jamboree, a 3-day event at the Mahoning Theater in Lehighton, Pennsylvania. Scheduled for later this summer, the Jamboree includes an indie festival for guerrilla filmmakers called “Mutant Fest”. The underfunded and DIY directors were encouraged to submit their horror films. All submissions from low-budget to no-budget welcome.
When Joe Bob and Darcy were announced as guests for the fan convention, Days of the Dead, I decided to attend myself. I was curious what such a gathering would be like for fans and celebrities during Covid. If local numbers stayed low and vaccinations continued to roll out smoothly, this would be the first horror convention in Chicago since the pandemic started.
At the Crown Plaza Hotel in Rosemont, employees were cased in plastic at the front desk. Hand sanitizing dispensers lingered in a few corners but there was minimal direction for convention attendees. The main requirement was wearing a mask properly at all times. An unquestioned rule that very few broke. After ping-ponging back and forth between will-call and volunteers, I found my way to the main room. For a few hours, I chatted up strangers and vendors, waiting for my scheduled photo op with Joe Bob and Darcy.
Considering it had been a while since the last convention, everyone was a little rusty on opening night. The photographers had given me the incorrect time slot but were determined to make it right. Runners and organizers would zip back and forth, reassuring me, “Don’t worry kid, we’ll get you a photo with Joe Bob.”
“And Darcy.” I would add every time.
There would be no Last Drive-In without Darcy.
Thankfully, both guests agreed to reshoot before their scheduled panel. Down to the last minute, here came Joe Bob Briggs, ten miles tall in his bolo and boots. Darcy glided beside him in an ethereal evening dress. Both kept their distance and masks remained on at all times through the convention. As part of convention rules, every guest had the right to set their own boundaries for contact with fans. Joe Bob had previously admitted on Diana Prince’s own podcast, Geek Tawk that he had contracted Covid in the beginning of 2020. An experience I’m sure neither wanted to repeat. They said little if anything during our reshoot before quickly moving on to their panel. I thanked everyone nervously, and followed behind them from a distance, taking a seat in the far back.
Right out of the gate, Joe Bob shared that he and local horror host, Svengoolie had been plotting doing a show together at the Music Box Theater. In summer of 2019, both hosts were hinting on social media that they were working on a project. Plans were put on hold due to the pandemic and according to Joe Bob, “Svengoolie is not coming out of his house until Covid is over.”
Joe Bob goes on to announce he’s looking to produce films and has been reading different horror anthologies that come out each year. While admitting that most are not film material, he examines each “in a certain weird way” that could possibly change them into film material. His Mutant Festival this summer is a manifestation of that, as well as uplifting the underdog film makers.
A few days before the convention, Joe Bob had gone to social media reminding his followers of the upcoming deadline for Mutant Fest. Seeing this, I had considered a short film I had helped create in 2013. Friends and I were inspired by an email received from a Joe Bob mailing list. After years of forgetting, here he was in my inbox asking for screenplays and scripts from his fans. Our short was never finished and years later I am the sole owner of the remaining footage. With a run time of 6 minutes and 51 seconds, I updated the movie the best I could and submitted it to Mutant Fest.
I have no delusions about my humble no-budget horror short, but I’m optimistic for horror in general. During the end of his panel, he marveled at how horror has become mainstream in the last 20 years. Diana Prince is now a regular columnist for Fangoria and John Bloom is a man with a vision for avant-garde directors struggling to get their films made. The Last Drive-In has really helped Shudder take off, and the team behind it will likely do the same for the future of horror movies.
The 3rd season of The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs airs Friday, April 16th only on Shudder.
